So here’s the thing: I’d love to have a brand-new GM electric Hummer when it comes out. It’d scratch my itch for adrenalized American excess without making me think too critically about my own contribution to the inevitable destruction of our world and everything we hold dear. The only problem is that I don’t have $80,000+ burning a hole in my pocket to plunk down on that beast of an EV.

But if you’re like me and are hoping to find a more affordable way to get your electric Hummer groove on, then you’ll want to check out this ridiculous knock-off electric Hummer straight from the coolest parts bin on the internet: Alibaba!

Look, we’re not above buying knock-offs in my family. My wife wanted a Michael Kors purse, but neither of us are going to splurge $400 for that. So on a trip to Thailand she paid $20 and got something that was, well, close enough.

Scale that up by a half ton or so and you’ve got this week’s find for my Awesomely Weird Alibaba Electric Vehicle of the Week series: A knockoff electric Hummer!

There’s just a small catch.

Unlike the actual GM electric Hummer that appears to seat five passengers comfortably or probably 20 passengers variously crammed into the cavernous interior space, the knockoff version may be the first two-seater Hummer coupe on the planet.

This Chinese imitation doesn’t exactly carry over all of the aggressive lines of the real GM electric Hummer, either.

In fact, if we’re being honest, it’s a bit goofy looking. Depending on the angle, it looks like it’s coloring with a few crayons short of a full box, if you catch my drift.

But since I can’t afford a real electric Hummer, this $11,000 version is a lot easier to stomach. And I won’t look nearly as ridiculous driving it as I would in a $170 kid’s ride-on electric Hummer.

So what does Alibaba’s finest electric Hummer offer us?

In addition to seating for two in what actually looks like a pretty decent interior, the knockoff Hummer EV is powered by a 72V system with a 7.5 kW (10 hp) motor.

That motor hauls this Hummer-shaped abomination up to a top speed of 60 km/h (37 mph). Or what I like to call, “Good enough.”

Our participation award of an electric Hummer here also gets a pretty decent range of 80-100 km (50-62 miles), though with an old-school lead acid battery. A lithium-ion battery upgrade from the company costs a whopping $4,757 extra.

That’s a bit steep, considering I can buy an entire electric RV for that price.

Or more likely I should pick up that $1,700 two-seater electric Jeep I featured a few weeks ago. It’s not nearly as awesome, but I can buy a half dozen of them for this price!

Other customization options include adding accessories like a CD player, air conditioning, and even heated seats.

And if you thought this rolling copyright infringement was just for recreation, then the Alibaba page will set you straight faster than GM can call their lawyers. Sure, this fun wagon looks like it’d be great for beachside joy rides, but that mini bed in the rear is all about utility. This is basically a reverse mullet: party in front, business in back.

Now I know that some of you were worried that there weren’t going to be enough body options, but let me nip those fears in the bud. Not only is our knockoff Hummer EV available in a hard top model, but there’s a soft top and an open-top limousine version as well. Point me in the direction of the closest white tuxedo and high school prom please, I’ve got an entrance to make!

Stop everything, I need that electric Hummer limo knockoff!

Caveat emptor

As my regular readers know, this weekly Alibaba series is largely just for fun.

While I have in fact bought plenty of fun and sometimes weird things on Alibaba and its sister site AliExpress, there’s some serious buyer-beware action going on here.

Alibaba is a legitimate shopping platform and there are great finds, but you also need to know that communication with vendors can be difficult, and misunderstandings are frequent. So if you want to take the risk yourself, make sure you communicate very clearly with vendors to ensure you know what you’re going to receive.

That being said, please don’t let me talk any sense into you. If anyone really does want to take a chance on the coolest electric Hummer coupe on the internet, I will 100% want to visit you for a test ride! And if anyone happens to find their own awesomely weird electric vehicle while window shopping on Alibaba, feel free to shoot over a link – I may just feature it in one of my weekly columns! You can find my contact info in my author bio below.

Before you go, if you enjoyed this week’s entry, then you might want to check out some of the other fun and odd Alibaba EVs I’ve covered in previous weeks:

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