Here’s an electric Troncycle from China that’s designed to run into things

It just wouldn’t be a classicAwesomely Weird Alibaba Electric Vehicle of the Week entry if it didn’t include some wacky, far-out machine that seemingly has no reason to exist. So, in true AWAEVOTW fashion, feast your eyes on this free-range bumper car inspired by a Troncycle!

I call it free-range because it doesn’t need to be tethered to a steel floor and a cheese grater ceiling, like those old-fashioned carnie rides. Instead, this little electric motorcycle is free to ride around anywhere, thanks to its on-board battery. I’m not saying this is how your kids are going to ride to school from now on, but I’m not saying they couldn’t, either – though true commuting is probably out of the picture since the specs on this bike don’t inspire a lot of confidence.

It’s not particularly fast or powerful, with just a weak 24V battery and a paltry 350W motor. But it makes up for those shortcomings with high-tech features such as “four radars” and “anti-collision plastic.” I’m not exactly sure how either of those work, but if I’m paying $1,200 for the best motorcycle bumper car Alibaba can offer, you better believe I’m going to want as many radars as possible.

The little motorcycle is also outfitted head to toe and bumper to bumper with a colorful LED light show. It appears to move at somewhere around 2 mph (3 km/h), which means that since it’s not so fast, then it darn well better look good.

And while we’re discussing the faux-troncycle’s limitations, now might be a good time to point out that it’s not really a motorcycle in the traditional sense. There appear to be either three or four smaller wheels under the chassis that actually drive the thing, making this more of a motorcycle-shaped go-kart.

But hey, when you look this good at night, no one is checking your undercarriage.

Interestingly, despite this ostensibly being a kids’ toy, it comes outfitted with a pillion seat so that parents can be terrified from the backseat while their kids careen out of control into innocent passersby.

I’ve seen child and adult configurations on carnival toys before, but normally it involves something along the lines of a fake steering wheel for the rugrat. Rarely do they put the kid in control with the parent hanging on in the back. Props for thinking outside the box!

And for all three of you who have made it this far, thinking, “Man, I’d really love to see one of these in action,” fret not! I’ve got you covered.

Check out the video below to get the full audio-visual experience of a bumper-tron-cycle in action on a closed course with a professional rider.